THE BOOGIE MAN IS GONNA GET YOU
By Mark Skillz

Black on black crime, drug abuse, HIV, promiscuity, materialism, greed and ignorance, what do these things have in common: Hip-hop. Or so they say.

It looks as if the boogieman for the first part of the 21st century will be hip-hop. Why is HIV spreading so fast in the black community? Blame hip-hop. Teen-age pregnancy is out of control…Blame hip-hop. Hurricane Katrina. Blame hip-hop. Those guys are killing each other…Blame hip-hop. You can almost blame hip-hop for anything you want.

Here I have another one: Erectile dysfunction. What? You mean you can blame that on hip-hop too? Sure. Use this as the reason: Because of the proliferation of pornographic based material that draws an indirect and oftentimes direct influence from the hip-hop culture, it is reasonable to presume that the viewing of such material over a period of time can cause the viewer to distort reality and to manipulate his male sex organ more frequently than is recommended by the office of the surgeon general.

Ghetto translation: Son you been wackin off so much to them Trina videos that yo shit won’t move no mo.

It’s a liberating feeling to be able to blame something for our problems. Violence in schools…Goddamn rappers, they did it. Somebody shot up a church. Lawd Jesus help us, look at what the rappers have made our kids do. You can blame hip-hop for almost anything now.

Like this person…

Dear Mark Skillz,
I am writing to you because you are the only person that I feel I can talk to. I am short and was born Black and poor. If it wasn’t for the rappers I feel like I would have had a better life. Maybe I could’ve done something really meaningful with my life if it wasn’t for rap music.

Signed,
Po and Ugly.

Here’s my response:

Dear Po and Ugly,

Tough break bro.

Signed
Your pal,
Mark Skillz

George Bush had Willie Horton, remember that goddamn nigga? I say it like that because everywhere you went during that election year, every brother was some sort of equivalent of Willie Horton. He was what was wrong with the ‘criminal justice’ system. And as I recall the first George Bush promised to deal with those ‘types’ with a much heavier hand than the previous administration (of which he was a part of). Nowadays every politician and preacher has a new scapegoat: Hip-hop.

My son is on the DL…umm, ummm, ummm. Lord it’s the music these kids listen to. My daughter is a stripper. All them rap videos made your daughter want to be a stripper.

Let’s get real here: Black on black crime – who shot Malcolm X and Patrice Lumumba? That was Black on Black crime and there was no hip-hop to blame for that. The reasons brothers are killing each other are a lot bigger than hip-hop. Like: Lack of education, lack of home training, lack of direction, lack of love and respect for self and others, poor job prospects and no motivation to see beyond the block they live on.

Drug abuse: Hmmmm, what were y’all doing in the 60’s and 70’s? I know I know, smoking grass (as you like to call it). Real innocent ‘Leave it to Beaver’ type shit, huh? Nah, y’all weren’t all up in clubs til the break of dawn doing reckless shit, nah, not y’all. Y’all was on some real wholesome, family-friendly Mike Brady type shit back then, right?

HIV: Hmmmm, that shit has been around for twenty-five years.

Promiscuity: What? White folks don’t swap partners, have multiple partners and engage in bi-sexuality? Hmmmm… Men (and not just Black men either) have been sleeping with multiple partners (and enjoying the hell out of it) since that first warm summer breeze first blew across his naked Johnson hundreds and thousands of years ago.

Materialism: Hmmmm…ever watch ‘Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous’? What’s that all about?

Greed and ignorance: Hip-hop does not make people ignorant – you either are or you’re not.

Has hip-hop as a culture helped to elevate our civilization? Since we’re keeping it real. No, not really. Like any other movement or culture it’s had its moments of beauty, but as a whole, nah. Is it supposed to? I thought it was music.

If your daughter would rather buy a thong than a book, don’t blame hip-hop: Blame yourself. If your daughter believes her destiny is to be bent over on stage at 3 o’clock in the morning making her ass clap, don’t blame hip-hop: BLAME YOURSELF.